Neglected blog

Well, I have been neglecting my Blog. It’s not been delieberate. It’s just that i have had so much going on that I have had my head spinning and alot of it I have not wanted ot post about, like that friendship I talked about ending. It turned out not ending. It got comlicated and painful. There was lots of arguing and emailing and crying and stressing. We both agreed finally that we wanted each other in each other’s lives and we are better together than apart. But it was a painful way to get to that decision. Very painful. We are trying new tactics to not put pressure on each other and to slow down and back off and take it easy and just be who we are and let nature take it’s course. But like I said, the road to that decision was not an easy one. We went from makign a clean break to being together to being apart, to hating each other, to settling back into a pattern. It ook both of us to face our faults and it was not easy. But I think we are on the right path. Or so I hope.

Meanwhile my health has not been so hot. I go to the doctors starting this week for my Ovarian cysts and my abdominal issues and my mental health issues and go from there. I am hoping to fit in time to see my other best friend Katherine over the weekend or possibly next weekend. It will be nice to spend some time with her. It’s been six months since I last saw her and though I talk to her most nights of the week, it’s not the same as face time. But I am not sure i will be well anough for the long drive there and then spending time with her without getting sick.

Meanwhile, I want to start gettign active again with Bookmooch, postcrossing, open and etsy store, and start selling things on ebay and trading things on Listia. I want to start downsizing and making some room and makign the most of what i have and hopefully get some things I want as well in the process.

I have been active with my ATCs and with trading Junk journal and smash book supplies. I have 12 envelopes waiting to get sent out. I will scan in some of the new cards and post the results later on. I really would like to take some classes and become more creative though. I am using alot of premade supplies and I want to make my own supplies and more of my own designs, not that the designs themselves arent original, but using premade products like stickers and photos makes it easier to do the work and I feel it’s kind of like cheating. I’d like to make my own paper and paint my own backgrounds and draw my own figures if possible. i boughts some books. i should use them.

I am also going to start answering a question a day. I have 200 of them from surveys and online journal prompts already on my computer but if you have any of yoru own, feel free to email them to me at or post them in the comments section at any page at any time and I will answer them. They can be questions about me, my thoughts, my opinions, current events that you might want to discuss, anything is an open book. My life is open to you so give me a shout about anything at any time.

Well that’s it for now. I promise I will be on every day from now on except for when I am away and do not have internet access. Love to all.



My New Year’s Resolutions for 2013

This year is quickly approaching it’s end and the new year is quickly approaching it’s beginning. This year I am not as ambitious when it comes to specific resolutions. My two specific resolutions are to reach my goal weight for this year of 260 pounds. It is reachable, attainable and measurable. It is a goal I know I can meet and will not blow it. And when I meet and exceed it it will make me feel more competent. And if I just meet it and don’t exceed it, then at least I met my goal. My other goal is to set daily, weekly, and monthly goals that are specific and attainable to help me improve on my medical issues, my mental health, my physical health, my creative and artistic side, my financial situation, my relationships, and my environment. In order to do this I have purchased a planner to help set small achievable daily and weekly goals for myself and will document monthly goals as well in my journal and blog and document their progress. Ultimately my goal is to find balance and to help heal my life more than I have this year. I really have alot of healing to do and have no made much progress in doing so this past year. I really need to work on myself and bettering my life and there-for my husband’s, child’s, and best friends’. So that’s it!

We survived!

Well Ladies and Gentleman, It’s December 22, 2012 and we survived. The world is still here, humans are still on it, and I am still hanging on to my lovely, chaotic existence. While it is before christmas and too early to start setting my New Years resolutions in stone for  the new year, I think that waking up to a beautiful new day gives me the opportunity to focus on what I want to start working on in my life: the areas I want to start focusing on more.

  1. My Medical Issues: I am already working on those but I think it’s time to really focus on them. I have a Gyn appt in January to work on the ovarian cyst issue and I am going to have to get an appt with a gastroenterologist now that I have found out that the surgical ooption is off of the table for my chronic diverticulitis. I also need to get back in with the dentist to work on my teeth as they are not happy and I never followed up after my last major dental procedure because it hurt so much. I need to get back to them and follow up.
  2. My Mental Health: I need to find a way to work with my P-Doc or find someone who will work with me. I also need to find ways to minimize stress and find therapuetic outlets for the things I am going through. I also need to get back into my DBT practice and start to focus on some of those excercises. I also need to get focused with Dr. Kuna and find a way to really concentrate on issues that are bothering me and work with him on those instead of wasting time on less meaning ful things.
  3. My Physical Health: I need to get back into eating healthy and getting regular exercise and start working on my body even though I know I am not well. A little bit will go a long way.
  4. My Creative/Artistic side: I need to find a way to feed that part of me more and spend less time in front of the tv. I also need to organize my space and my supplies. I woudl also like to network more so I can take classes or go to concerts or go to galleries. I don’t have to isolate and do it all by myself.
  5. My environment: My house is a mess and filthy. It causes external choas to my internal choas. I need organize and downsize and clean and make arrangement to get the house fixed.
  6. My Financial situation: I need to spend less and utilize more. No more spending sprees when I can use what i have. I also want to set up an ebay and etsy store to sell thigns that I can’t use or don’t need anymore. I also need to start arraqnging to pay off some of my bills.
  7. My relationships: I need to find more balance in my relationships. I neglect my huasband in favor of Katherine or Paul quite often because I do not have the energy for all three. I also do nto spend nearly enough itme with my son because I am tired. I also neglect spending face timewiht Katherine in favor of phone time because I over spend and do not save for trips to see her. I also do not spend enough time with friends or making time for friends or penpals and that is not fair to them. I need to Find Balance.

I guess the whole key to this thing is Finding Balance. I really need that most of all. KIt’s alot to tackle but if I take baby steps and make little changes in each area I will make big changes in the long run. Anyways that’s my big thoughts status post Doomsday. Love to all my friends and followers.